Here is a quick list of what you can [and should] really expect from your first and even subsequent postpartum transitions. That’s right, this post is not just for first time moms. In case you don’t know me yet, I tend to not sugar coat things. This list embodies that. Also, many of the things on this list come straight from the mouths of postpartum many other mamas (not just myself). I am keeping it real real here!
Let this list help you clarify your postpartum needs, plans and help give you a clear idea of what to expect. Actively preparing for this transition will have a positive impact on your experience. Let this list be a motivation to make that happen for yourself rather than letting it overwhelm you or make you scared.
As always girl, [I hope you know] reach out to me with any questions, suggestions and needs you have. I am here to help in any way I can! Also, know that you are powerful, capable and enough mama! Always!
- The motherhood transition is hard. To think otherwise will lead to unnecessary feelings of disappointment or failure.
- Do not expect to immediately bond and fall in love with your baby. If you don’t, that’s okay it takes time for some mamas.
- It’s okay to ask for help and support. Physically and emotionally. With household chores or with older children. With anything, at any time of need!
- Postpartum can cause stress and change to your relationship with your significant other. There are many reasons for this. Have an open line of communication. Check in with one another. Support one another. This might not come easily. It will take work. Your relationship as new parents is new just like your baby is. Give it attention and patience.
- Prepare to experience challenges with family boundaries. Set boundaries that feel right for YOU. Not what’s right for others.
- You deserve breaks mama. Even just a quiet breakfast in bed or shower at night. It’s okay to want this time for yourself. You may need to ask for it. Don’t expect it to be offered.
- Expect to not get time for yourself unless you ask and plan for it. This includes showering and even getting 10 minutes to eat alone or 15 minutes to nap with no interruptions.
- You will probably need more help than you think. Be okay with it. Accept offers for help. Ask for help.
- Getting help can look like someone coming to hold your baby while you sleep, shower, eat or make a meal. Having someone cook for you, clean for you, watch older children for you and do your dishes or laundry.
- You will need to have a plan for keeping your nutrition a priority. Who will grocery shop? Who will prep meals? Can you have easy snacks on hand? Can you prep and freeze meals before your baby comes?
- People will tell you to get outside and get some fresh air everyday and you should! Spend some time sitting outside in the sun shine, go for a walk when you’re ready. Your mental health will depend on it! Getting outside for even short periods of time each day can improve your mood, improve your sleep and rest and decrease the effects of your stress. Get out of that bedroom and house! Don’t underestimate the power of this one!
- Early movement & appropriate exercise can reduce your stress and boost your mood. It will help your physical recovery and improve the quality of your sleep. Get up and walk, get back to your physical routine gradually and have a smoother transition both physically and mentally.
- Expect to not get a lot of sleep in the first few weeks. Baby will be up anywhere from every 1 hour to every 3 or 4. Repeat a positive mantra to yourself every time your baby wakes and needs you. I say this one to myself still to this day (at 6 months postpartum), “My baby is here with me, my baby needs me, I can do this”.
- My baby is 6 months old right now and wakes up usually at 12:30am, 3:30am and 6am to breastfeed. This is normal!! “My baby is here with me, my baby needs me, I can do this!” You can do this!
- Expect to feel moody and be on an emotional roller coaster. Some days you will feel great and some days you will not. Within reason this is normal! Overall you should feel like yourself but, ups and downs are normal.
- You will most likely experience scary & intrusive thoughts. Even anxiety and mom guilt. Know what these are and how to control them.
- 80% of mamas experience postpartum baby blues within the first week after birth and lasting usually only a couple of weeks. Signs of baby blues can include:
- Crying easily
- Feeling overwhelmed or out of control
- Feeling exhausted, anxious or sad
- Lack of confidence
- Breastfeeding does not come easily for the majority of mamas. Find your favorite IBCLC contact before birth so you can reach out at any moment’s need.
- Breastfeeding can be emotionally exhausting. It has been for me all the way through both of my experiences. It most likely will not go perfectly. There will be bumps in the road. This is normal but you may need support from an IBCLC. You just need to be prepared and have your breastfeeding resource ready to go in case you need to contact them for help. You might start off asking a friend some questions for reassurance or support. If you need skilled support from an IBCLC have that contact ready for easy access.
- You can be proactive about breastfeeding support and get a consult right from the start to give you supportive strategies from day one! You don’t have to wait until there is something that you think is going wrong!
- Sex postpartum can be scary. Don’t rush it. Don’t attempt until you are healed. If you attempt and it doesn’t feel right for you, try again at a later date. Seek support from a pelvic floor physical therapist with no shame if you need it.
- The transition from 0 kids to 1 is often reported to be the hardest. You have a new baby and you are also learning how to be a mama for the 1st time with no prior, personal experiences to pull from. Transitioning your older children into siblinghood will probably go more smoothly than you think. First, second, third, fourth, fifth baby??? You got this mama! Know we all need support through all transitions!
- It is normal to feel like you are unsure of your identity and purpose after becoming a mama. This shifts in motherhood more than just after a 1st baby. Stay in the mindset that you can be a mother and be other things as well. Letting go of your past identities is okay but also not right for every mama. You may find yourself seeking a new identity somewhere between who you once were and who you are now becoming. This is a beautiful process. Seek to find yourself and not lose yourself in this role of motherhood.
Well there you have it friend! I have tried to keep it REAL REAL here. If you prepare yourself in all these aspects, then mama you will be well on your way to having a positive transition postpartum! You got this! What an exciting time to be in and prepare for!
Talk soon friend!
