In this blog post I want to teach you a variety of ways your partner can support you during your birth. Share this blog with anyone you plan to have support you during your labor experience.
First let’s talk about the importance of continuous labor support.
Undivided attention and constant presence are 2 factors that have a heavy influence on your birth experience. Current research shows that continuous support during labor has significant positive impacts on mama’s labors. While having a support person is critical for loving and emotional support, there are added benefits to hiring professional birth support from a doula. Having a doula present can allow your support partner to fully focus on being a loving & emotional support versus a comprehensive labor assistant.
- Continuous undivided attention can lead to decreased use of medical intervention, reduced newborn & maternal complications and shorten length of labor (Perez, 2014).
- Continuous labor support from a professional doula is proven to REDUCE oxytocin use, use of pain medication, epidural use, forceps & vacuum assisted births, and cesarean rates (Perez, 2014).
Let’s dive in! Here’s how your partner can support you in labor.
- Your support person should look for signs of increased emotional stress while you are laboring and bring it to your attention and to your birth team’s attention. Increased emotional stress can look like:
- Increased fear or anxiety
- Needy behavior
- Seeming distrustful or demanding
- Suddenly asking lots of questions
- Controlling others
- Out of control behavior (panicking, thrashing about, screaming…)
- Your support person should provide emotional support. Providing emotional support can look like:
- Undivided attention
- Expressions of caring
- Giving encouragement
- Helping keep you focused
- Giving reassurance
- Giving affirming statements
- Maintaining privacy
- Validating your productive labor activities (labor moans, upright positions, listening to your body)
- Giving helpful reminders to relax you, continue moving, & what your birth goals are
Stage One Labor Support Person Tips:
Early Labor Phase Support Tips:
- Make sure mama’s hospital bag is packed and ready to go as well as your bag.
- Check that there is enough gas in the tank to get you to your destination.
- Gather or prepare the snacks and cooler bag you will be bringing with you to your birth place.
- Jump right into helping your laboring partner with comfort.
- Follow her lead. When she quiets, you quiet. When she is asking for assistance, don’t hesitate. When she tells you to stop doing or change what you are doing, follow that instruction.
- Tell her where you see tension or gently massage it away to remind her to relax there.
- Match her rhythm of breathing and swaying and movement, avoiding trying to speed her up or slow her down.
- Keep a close eye on her but it doesn’t need to be a nagging stare awaiting a sudden change or need.
Active Labor Phase Support Tips:
- Taking in all the tips we just discussed here are a few more as well.
- Active labor is when things get more intense and serious for mama. Continue to follow her lead.
- Match her silence. No talking while she is quiet unless she tells you otherwise.
- Support her rituals during contractions. This may look like you rocking with her, moving with her, stroking her, providing counter pressure where she needs it, counting down each contraction for her, and/or repeating softly her birth mantra.
- Don’t be afraid to ask her (between contractions) what she wants you to stop doing or continue to do. She may just want you to be close by and hold her hand during her rushes.
- Provide encouragement. Tell her she is doing a good job. Be patient with her.
Transition Phase Support Tips:
- Taking in all the tips we just discussed here are a few more as well.
- This is the most difficult phase of labor. You will probably see your partner expressing intense emotions and sensations.
- Keep your composure. Be her calm. Be her strength. Let her know you are with her.
- If you yourself need reassurance, get it from your doula, nurse or provider.
- Be confident and reassuring.
- Stay short and concise in this part of labor. It will be all mama can take in while she rests between contractions.
- Try not to ask questions during this last phase.
- Stay close to her. Even touching her softly or holding her hand if she has minded that.
- Look her in the eyes during contractions and offer support and encouraging words.
- You can also offer short encouragement between contractions to help her rest and continue on.
- Keep her rhythm. Know that her moans and groans are not cries for help but are methods of coping and getting her through each rush.
- Know if she is expressing grunts and urging to push that you should call the nurse or provider into the room. It may be time to start pushing!
Stage Two of Labor (Pushing) Tips:
- If you have a few minutes before pushing begins,use this time to grab a quick snack or use the bathroom.
- Help her change positions or support her weight or limbs as she needs.
- Encourage her to relax her muscles and release tension where she feels the pressure of the baby’s head.
- Cheer her on and get excited! Not in a disruptive way of course but in a fun way.
- Know it can be a relief for her to get to this stage, but she still needs you to help her keep going.
- Apply cool washcloths to her forehead or chest if she wants it.
- Don’t be afraid to report her progress. If you see your baby’s head, let mama know!
- Remember also to quiet down if the providers are giving directions to mama.
- As your baby’s head is emerging be sure not to rush mama through this short part of baby’s descent. Often providers will have mama stop pushing and give less powerful grunts rather than push hard and fast to get the baby’s head and torso to be born.
- Celebrate your baby’s arrival! Don’t be afraid to show your emotion and excitement!
Stage Three Support Person Tips:
- Help position your baby on mama’s chest.
- Cover them with a warm blanket.
- Prepare yourself for skin-to-skin with the baby.
- Advocate for delayed newborn procedures that require your baby to be taken away from mama. (I hope this goes without saying but… only if mama and baby are doing well after birth)
- Help mama breathe and remain still for the delivery of the placenta and having a vaginal examination for any tears that need to be repaired.
- Stay focused and in the moment during this precious time! Enjoy your family!
Well there you have it friend! That was a lot of tips! Continuous birth support is a very powerful tool. Use it. Plan for it. Come into your birth with a prepared support team and I promise mama you will reap all the benefits of doing so! If you have already forgotten what those benefits are… scroll back up and take another look. THIS IS POWERFUL STUFF! Take it seriously. I’d love for you to share with me, after your birth, how your support team impacted your experience. Come find me @Unpopularmoms and send me a DM!
References
Perez, P. (2014). The nurturing touch at birth: A labor support handbook (3rd ed.). Johnson, VT: Cutting Edge Press.
